There will be dead-ends and u-turns.

“I don’t know myself already.”
“I don’t know what I want.”
“I am lost. I need to find myself again.”
“I don’t love myself.”
“I am angry with myself. I can’t forgive myself.”
“I am happy and sad at the same time.”

When you hear a person say any of the lines above. What is your initial reaction? Do you think that they’re so "emo" and weird? Do you get curious and ask them why? Do you take it seriously, fret for them and give them advice? Do you automatically understand what they mean because you’ve felt the same way before? Do you think it’s impossible?

Let’s read between the lines. It’s possible and there are stories behind those lines. Stories of struggle, self-pity, hardship and confusion. I know. I should know.

***

Obviously, Im back. I said that I won’t blog while I’m still a bum but I’ve changed my mind. I realized that I need to be productive through this blog. Though I can’t promise that I’ll be posting on a regular basis just like before because as I’ve said, I am a bum. My life is monotonous. There is no interesting things to share, very uneventful. FML. Maybe this entry will be the first and last for the month of August. We’ll see.

So, whats new with me? I gained a lot of pounds. I just started dieting. I don’t eat rice as part of my diet plans. But I think it’s not working because I still eat a lot. Blame the delicious foods and sweets. Blame me too ofcourse. My hair now is long and I’m planning to have a new haircut. I created two wish lists on my journal. One for material things, I wanna have this coming xmas – Camera, cellphone, books etc. The other list is for the activities I wanna do – wall climbing, sky diving, travelling etc. Unlike before, I now have a lot of time for meditation, sleeping, daydreaming, watching t.v., reading books, bonding time with family. Unlike before, I am now updated with the latest news from showbiz, politics, fashion, music. Sadly, I don’t have a social life. I miss my friends and other people from college. I have bad days and good days. Sometimes, I’m jaded. Sometimes, I enjoy being a bum. Think of it, we deserve a very long vacation right? Right. Absolutely right.

Ok. That’s all for now. I should be doing something much worthwhile like finding a place to belong in this twisted world of ours. I am starting over. Actually, I don’t know where I’m going but I’m sure that there is a place for me. I need to get a life.

P.S.: Start reading between the lines and you may also start stalking me on Plurk, Tumblr and/or Twitter. Thank you.