i am forever thankful

This is my entry for avalon.ph Final Contest! Win a Moleskine Weekly Planner! You could also join by simply answering this question:

What are you thankful for this year (2008)?

I am thankful for my parents. I am thankful for their unconditional love, understanding and undying support. No matter what happens I am sure that they will always be here for me. Even though I am an unworthy-daughter-to-carry-our-surname, even though I disobey most of the times, even though I am not someone to be proud of I can still feel their love. This year, I’ve realized how lucky I am to have a complete family and loving parents. I always have badnews for them, failures, mistakes, shortcomings, etcetera but you know what, after all, I didn’t receive any hard-hitting words from them. I thought they will shout at me. I thought they will punish and blame me but they did not. And what did I got? I received understanding, compassion, undertanding, advices... sometimes i do ask myself, what did i do to be so blessed like this?

I am thankful for my parents. For their sacrifices, for racing us, for teaching us, for providing us everything we need, for their presence, cares, supports, inspirational stories, for being a verygood example , for guidance, patience...

A lifetime is not enough for me to return all the good things they’ve done for me. My wonderful journey in this life would not be possible without them.

I need to love myself a little bit more.

This week has been very stressful. At home and in school, there’s always something to be stressed about. Honestly I didn’t perform well. I was absent or late. I missed some of our long quizzes and seat works and I wasn’t able to pass my assignments. Super Model student? Agghh what the hell?!! Traffics before and after school does sucks. Also, this week I didn’t have a decent sleep because of overnights, programming and other papers to finish. The only best thing that had happened this week is that we were able to pass the documentation of our thesis on time.

I am glad that I am still breathing, doing this blog entry and still wearing a smile on my face. This is good. I can feel that the optimism (in the middle of difficulty) I always had before is finally coming back. Yehey to me ( :

I am organizing files in my computer then I’ll continue reviewing my lessons later. I miss my bed. I miss bloghopping. I miss my friends. I miss myself.

Next week is our prelim week plus I also need to take those long quizzes I’ve missed. Simbang Gabi starts next week so let’s make sure not to miss it ok? Ok.

“Sometimes you just cant tell someone how you really feel. Not because you don’t know why, not because you don’t know your purpose, not because you didn’t trust them, but because you can never really find the right words to make them understand”

Paano

My computer clock shows that it's 5:14 am. The morning person in me is alive again. I have so many things to do. Just thinking of those things makes my head ache.

---
Paano ka magmamahal ng iba kung mismong sarili mo ay hindi mo magawang mahalin?
Paano ka lalaban kung ang kalaban mo ay ang sarili mo rin?
Paano ka umaasa kung alam mong wala ng pag-asa?
Paano ka nagpapatuloy kung alam mong wala ng patutunguhan?
Paano?
---

*C# mode*
Hoping this week would end..

perfectly fine.

realization

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me. But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst.

And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday."

Lines from american beauty
Image from postsecret

The picture, the words in it, and the lines from american beauty tells what i really wanted to write. It's nice to know that I am not alone and other people feels the same way too. The past weeks, i was so emo :( everything was a problem for me but now i've decided to be happy ( : and take everything as a challenge. There's so much beauty in the world. so much..

ironies

July 2008, I created a thread, asking people what are the ironies in their lives.

bankereconomist : you can't get everything all at once
people usually deny their negatives and shortcomings

shychic : sometimes you become the person you exactly hate

ermonski : your gain, other's loss
we're so happy that my nephew was born a week ako... in exchange... the Lord took my grandmother earlier...we'll miss you lola!

irie : a traffic jam when you're already late~
a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break~
its meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife~
its the good advice that you just didnt take..who would've thought.. it figures~

makalogic : Build your life, hopes, and dreams for that future family of your own...but choosing
to be alone so you can get there as fast as you can
We begin to die...the moment we are conceived.
Each second is a second closer to the time of your death, yaiks!

edfaj33 : letting go of someone i used to have tapos saka naman siya sinisimulan iaccept nila mama...like, i've ben hiding him from my family for such a long time tapos after i decided to stop na, saka naman bumait sila mama sa guy, as in they are already showing signs na they are ready to accept the guy...grrr! hehehe,..ala naman probs yung guy eh, sobrang bait nga...but with all this pressures im having right now, ayoko muna ng any attachment...ganun lang... ironic.

pokerbuff : The girl I want does not want me, the girl I don't want wants me.

h2z33 : he asks you to come back to the philippines so you'll be together (you on the otherhand, is currently in san francisco enjoying life with your family) ... and it doesnt happen... for some cosmic reason, you just cant be together. sus! to make it worse,.. you are now alone. no family and no significant other

triniti : im not happy at work.. because they pay me to do no work at all. hehe

rendaku : My irony is, one cannot identify me by my handwriting.

^pusa^ : the person who shape you on who you are today, is also the same person who will destroy you.

kauriehart : Life doesn't always turn out the way you plan. Life is like a box of chocolate, you'll never what you get.

yellowribbon : i used to think that if you finish college, get yourself a good job, have good business apart from that stable job, find a man, earn respect of your peers, life would be perfect. but nooo, life always finds a way to screw things up

starrynight : searching for life in the midst of death. loving someone in a dead-end relationship. seeing hope in a hopeless situation.

jill0624 : love changes and cures a person.. but at the same time, it can be a trap.. it can destroy a person who gives her/himself completely..

spoiledangel : i like a guy younger than me but i dont know what he feels. then, another guy younger than me is making his moves but i dont like him.

nightwing05 : telling the truth and having no one believe you..
creating the flimsiest excuse and actually have someone accept it..
tsk, tsk, tsk..

feistyvirago : Even with the best laid plans you have set up for yourself, anticipating all the worst case scenarios even so you have a back-up plan (Plan B), someone or something would always happen that is even worse than you have ever anticipated, majorly screwing your plans. So you want to start all over again, but this time, you just don't want to plan anymore. Haaay.

damnright : people often don't get what they wanted but they're not getting what they deserve either.

So, whats yours?

Questions

How do you speak without words?
How do you cry without tears?
What is music without melody?
Is it like love without pain?

Why does the leaves,
Waits for the fall to wither?
Why does the sun,
Sometimes doesn't shine?
Why do people in love say,
They can touch the sky?
Then end up with,
A sad good bye.

Why do we sacrifice,
In order to gain?
Why not expect,
When you have all the hopes?
Why is there a struggle in every fight?
And cry yourself to sleep at night.

How do you feel a moment,
When it isn't even yours?
How do you smile,
When your heart is aching?
How do you read the writings on the wall,
When it is all between the lines?
Just, how do you?


Written by: cherlaurel

one thing about human being that puzzles me the most

Human beings are funny…they long to be with people they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feeling may not be recognized or, even worse, returned… but one thing about human being that puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be remotely connected with their object of affection, even if it kills them slowly within. -Sigmund Freud