One moment I’m happy then one moment I’m sad.
Why did they let me expect something from them?
Why they didn't tell me from the very start that I should be ready for fucking rejection?
I realized that it’s hard to be optimistic when everything doesn’t turn out the way it should be… or the way you hoped it should be.
It’s hard to smile.
It’s even hard to breath.
I want to forget everything about it.
You can call me pessimistic.
Call me emo.
Call me weak.
I don’t care.
My parents keep telling me that it’s all part of God’s plan.
That something’s are meant to be while something’s are not meant to be.
Some people can get what they want easily while some must accomplished it the hard way.
That I will soon find my place, that this is just a test from God for me to be strong.
I’d read so many inspirational stuffs and quotes but why when I’m in the middle of problems everything doesn’t make any sense...
As I type this, my eyes are still hurting because of crying.
My heart is still aching because of pain.
Before I thought that I am already immune to pain.
But why do I feel this way?
I want to be numb...
I need a break from this roller coaster of emotion.
You can call me pessimistic.
Call me emotional, call me weak.
I don’t care.
Lord, give me some hope.
If this is a way for me to pay all the sins I've done. Go on.
I just want all these to end happily.
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